WORDS HAVE A HUGE IMPACT.....STOP THE NEGATIVE! YOU ARE A BLESSING!

Have you heard these things or said them to yourself?

* you are a mistake

* you shouldn't have been born

* you can't do it
* you are going to fail
* you are a pest
* you're not good enough
* nobody likes you
* you are a burden
* she's crying...what's wrong with her this time?
* nobody wants you around
* they feel sorry for you
* you are worthless
* nobody will miss you
* you are nothing

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are we so mean to ourselves?

The words we hear and say can have such a HUGE impact on our lives.

Everyday we need to make a choice to either love ourselves and keep going OR continue to destroy ourselves and quit.

I used to use alcohol to numb the pain that I was feeling but that is a very lonely place to be even though I thought it was something that felt like freedom...I was so wrong.

We NEED to change our mindset and see ourselves for how awesome and amazing we are!

I am learning to do this and some days it is not easy...some days it is very hard! I am learning to reprogram my thoughts and feelings towards myself.

This past year has been so rewarding and a struggle at the same time BUT I wouldn't go back to where I was....miserable, lonely and I wanted to disappear.

I am so thankful for the choices I have made because now I am able to finally smile and be proud of who I am. I am a work in progress.

Don't let the past, your thoughts and the words of others tear down who you are! YOU DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE!

BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU ARE WORTH IT!

I AM A SURVIVOR....BREAK THOSE CHAINS THAT HOLD YOU!

I AM A SURVIVOR!

When I started my transformation back in September 2014 I was basing my results on the scale and inches and what people thought.

I hated how I looked back then, I was depressed and wanted to hide, I was so lost and felt so alone...I WAS A PRISONER OF MY OWN SELF! I KNEW I had to break free of those chains that held me in that dark place.

So..I made that choice to change for ME...I tried to change for others but I wasn't ready and I felt incomplete.
It was hard in the beginning but I took that baby step every day and I am so thankful I did! The results are SO much more than a number.

I can look at myself in the mirror and smile! I can stand up and say YES I CAN! I am believing in myself!

Yes...I still struggle and have hard days BUT instead of beating myself up over them...I learn from them. Every day is a new day!

I CHOOSE LIFE! I CHOOSE TO STAY OUT OF THAT PRISON I PUT MYSELF IN!

ADDICTION...WHAT I THOUGHT WAS FREEDOM

Wow...as I look back at this photo before I started my journey I remember I was in a sad and lonely place in my life.
I hated the way I looked, I was so disgusted in myself and I just wanted to hide. How could anyone love me looking like this? How could anyone want to be my friend? I didn't even understand how my husband could love me. I was gross! I was so sure that people were thinking..."How can he be with her?...Ewww!"
I honestly thought people liked me out of pity and didn't really care....So I drank.
Numbing my feelings was..to me...the answer. I could have fun and not worry about how I looked...I thought this was freedom from the pain.
The more I drank the better I felt or didn't feel. This was my way of smothering the hurt and pain I felt towards myself and the past.
I hated it when my family/friends told me I had had enough...who the heck were they to tell me I had had enough! I KNEW when I had had enough!

My awakening came when one day I made a promise and I broke that promise due to my drinking. I was watching my granddaughter and said I would only have one beer...I didn't. I drank everything in the fridge.
I had put my granddaughter at risk because I could only think of that drink I wanted. What if something had happened to her? I couldn't drive and I was not thinking clearly.

I KNEW I needed help and I went to my first meeting. It was one of the hardest things I have done and I am still dealing with the feelings I had locked up for so long...I hated it and still do!
There are days that I want a drink SO bad but then I ask myself..."Do you really want to go back to that place?"
I have to choose everyday whether or not I will give in to that bottle or stay strong.
March 22nd, 2014 is my day of true freedom and I am going to keep going one day at a time!