SEARCHING...

I kept searching and searching for that attention and love I wanted.  Even if that meant doing things I didn't want to...being with guys I didn't like or taking dares that I didn't feel comfortable with.
 The wrong attention was better than no attention right?

I wanted someone to love me for me NOT for what I could do for them or to be used until they were done with me and move on to the next person.  What was wrong with me?  I tried so hard to be the person that they wanted me to be and it wasn't good enough.

It got to the point where I thought this was the way it was supposed to be.  I thought that this was the only way to be loved.  Deep inside I hoped there was something more than this.

After years of hearing those so called "I love yous" and being used and being someone I was not I decided to leave and signed up for Job Corps.  I was so ready for a fresh start and hoped and prayed it would be different there.

So...off I went to a new chapter in my life...or so I hoped.

More to come...