TESTING TO SEE IF THIS IS FOR REAL...

I had graduated from Job Corp and it was time to move in with my boyfriend.  I was still very scared and worried that all he wanted was the same thing that had been happening for years.

I needed to know if this guy was for real so I started testing him.  I would be such a brat and keep asking him if he really loved me.  I would make him mad on purpose to see if he would stay.  I would get so scared that he would find someone better and leave me.

I was so insecure that I honestly felt this was a dream and I would wake up and he would be gone.  I didn't want to go back to that hell hole I lived in for so many years but I didn't realize what a pain in the ass I was being.

I would smother him and not want him out of my sight for fear of him not coming back.  Over and over he reassured me that he loved me and wasn't going anywhere.

Finally after 5 years (yes 5 years) I knew he wasn't going anywhere and he loved me for me.  We were doing great and had two beautiful daughters.

But then...our marriage hit a rough point..I didn't understand what was happening...

More to come...