So...the substance that I turned to was alcohol.  I had drank before in my teen years and partied once in a while but this time was different.
I would go to events and be known as "The Party Girl".  Everyone was saying how much fun I was and wanted to sit at my table at an event or hang out with me because of it...I was on cloud nine!
I couldn't believe how much people liked me and wanted to be around me...it was awesome!

So every time I want to someone's house or an event or even at home...I was drinking.  I loved how I felt while drinking and I loved not having to worry about what people thought.  It was a wonderful numb feeling and I was having a blast!
When I would go out and feel that nervous feeling...I would just have a couple of beers (well..more than a couple) and relax. I didn't have a thing to worry about and I wasn't hurting anyone or doing anything wrong.  I mean..come on...I was coming out of my shell and having a good time.
I had no idea that my drinking was turning into something bigger than I thought.

More to come...